Absolution
by HPfan1952
Summary: Just an alternate possibility for what could have happened in "The Squab and the Quail."


**Disclaimer: Still don't own**

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**A/N: **Just an alternate look at what could have happened in "The Squab and the Quail."

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Kate stood in the doorway, uncertain of which direction she should go. Her heart willed her to move forward into the darkened room, her feet seemed to beg her to step back and away, a small punishment for her transgressions. Her head only continued to ache, the constant back and forth between heart and guilt bringing her to the brink of abandoning ship entirely. She bit her lip, the ever present moisture in her eyes threatening to spill over in a river of tears. She tried to take a step towards the listless figure sitting on the edge of the bed but the weight of the situation blocked her, kept her in place. She opened her mouth to speak, finding only enough strength to release his name from her lips.

Her heart twisted tight as Castle glanced up at her, the lack of life in his eyes worse than the pure fury that she felt she deserved. His shoulders seemed to drop further as he returned his attention to his phone. She took in a deep stuttering breath of air, feeling the first drop of her tears slip free, and dropped her gaze to the floor.

"If you want to go, I won't stop you."

The sound of utter defeat in his voice crushed the breath from her lungs and released the rest of the waiting tears in her eyes. She looked up, hoping to catch his eyes again, hoping to find a way to communicate the words frozen in her chest. His attentions remained on the phone. Kate took in a second deep breath of air and forced herself to cross the threshold. She willed herself to the spot beside him, keeping only inches between them. Her eyes caught a glimpse of the picture he had pulled up and her heart clenched tighter as she beheld one his snapshots of them.

Her apology fell from her lips in weak blur, sounding like a waste of air to her own ears. Nothing made up for her actions. Not apologies, not reasons. The truth was that it should have never happened.

"Is it what you want?"

She met his broken gaze. He studied her, awaiting her answer. She tried to speak again but the sob begging for release choked her words off. She wanted nothing more than to curl up in his arms and find solace. Her chest tightened at the futility of such a wish, her own actions bringing her to this moment of need. She turned away and stared at the comforter, the tears falling harder. Several times, she sensed him move to comfort her. Several times, she felt him draw back.

She silently begged for his touch, begged for absolution. Her guilt laughed at her, mocked her, engrained in her the question of how many seconds chances did she deserve. Her heart squeezed tighter. Her quiet wishes became aching pleas. His hand cupped the side of her face, stilling her, quieting her. She gave no resistance until his lips met hers. It was not but, a final good-bye kiss.. The nos spilled from her in a rapid rhythm, pushing him back with broken sorries. She shot her hand to his, preventing him from removing it from her cheek.

"Am I enough, Kate?"

Kate continued to hold his gaze, willing him to see, willing him to understand. Her heart raced as his thumb traced a path over her flesh. He leaned in, his features full of caution, his eyes never leaving hers as he met her lips in a tentative brush. He pulled a hair's breath away as if making a final decision. Her heart stopped, her lungs refused air, her eyes closed against the struggle. He moved, she braced herself for final judgment.

He kissed her and the floodgates re-opened. He kissed her harder.

She fell into his waiting arms.

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**A/N: **Let me know what you think? I've never really tried a what could have happened had this happened instead of that in a particular episode before, I usually just stick with speculation and possibility of what could happen in the future.

As as always a big thank you to my beta, Dmarx, and to you guys my readers, hugs to all :)

And until next story...

Happy reading: )


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